THE RUDE-O-METER

"What? You must be joking!" - this could have been the reaction of an average Mumbaikar, on being informed that his city is the rudest, according to the much talked-about Reader's Digest survey. Well, I had a similar reaction as well. At the very outset, let me confess that I am not even an inch of a Mumbaikar and I have only visited the city on two occasions (and that too, aeons ago). Still, on those two occasions, the little experience that I had of being in the city, there was no hint whatsoever of its people being the "rudest". To be fair to the people behind the survey, a city and its people do change with time. But, I can surely vouch for the fact that Mumbai can never go as far as becoming the rudest city in the country. Besides my own experience, I have had many feedbacks from reliable sources to support my statement. And, I being the peace-loving Bengali, always thought there are quite a few other cities that are far ruder - our capital city being the first and foremost here. New Delhi, the symbol of "India Shining", sadly, does not have a big heart. If any person lay dying or injured on the road, what would be the reaction of an average "Dilliwala"? - "Chal Chhod Yaar, Marne de". The example used here might be a tad extreme, but it is has been used only to show the extent of the mechanical life our capital city leads. On the other hand, I also dare to cock a snook at my own city - Kolkata. This city, with its language as sweet as the ubiquitous rosogolla, is not really what it seems. Otherwise, why would any young passenger on a bus be reluctant and at times, quite irritated, to vacate his seat to his aged counterpart? Also, the countless autorickshaws that have sprouted up from nowhere, tell a similar story. Ask any officegoer about his daily experience with an "autowalla" and you will understand. Aren't these things more realistic indicators on the "rude-o-meter" devised by Reader's Digest, instead of people picking up others' papers in a queue? And then, how could this distinguished magazine forget the chawls of Mumbai? These are perhaps the best symbol of social interaction and bonding in today's fast-paced world, prompting academic institutes of repute to build case studies on them. Which chawl-dweller will say his next-door neighbour is ruder than the rudest?

So, its time that such survey-designers became a little bit wise!

THE UPA LINE-UP

Captain (non-playing) - Manmohan Singh

Defenders - Pranab Mukherjee, Murli Deora,Priya Ramjan DasMunshi

Midfielders - Left Front (likely to score own goals)

Forwards - P Chidambaram, Lalu Prasad Yadav,Praful Patel

Goalkeeper - ??? (Arjun Singh is yet to select from the 27% reserved quota)

Coach - Sonia Gandhi

The configuration to make political soccer a little bit wise!

TRIVIA

Some trivia for the denizens of the soccer mad world -

Facts about Bengal and Brazil -

The former is the largest supporter of the latter outside Latin America
The former knows exactly how to differentiate between Kaka and Dida(from its own lingo,that is),the latter has never heard of Bhutia or Burrabazar
The former spends sleepless nights calculating the detailed stats of the latter's performance,the latter goes on bringing magic to the game
The former is ruled by a "communist" party which cannot guarantee the proper nutrition of each and every inhabitant in it,the latter is ruled by "socialist" President, but is an assembly-line of World Cup match-winners nonetheless(even if they come from humble backgrounds)
The former plays to the armchair,while the latter plays to the gallery

Don't know, which of the above is a little bit wise than the other!

AGAIN?….OOPS!

Again- again what? Well, again a hiatus from blogging? Why? Just because one gets to know that he is on his way to becoming a journalist after all doesn’t mean that he stops blogging. On the contrary, one should go on with a lot more vigour. Well, it does help him to progress in his career interest, right? But, what can one do when the headlines on almost all national dailies for more than a week is about how some Bhangra singer engages in a liplock with an item girl? So, what is he left to do now? (to ask that oft repeated question so many times over and over again) What is he to do with all the piled ‘disillusionment’ and ‘discontent’? Throw it into the intellectual trash can? Or, step into the trash and try to clean it up – well, only from the armchair, that is? For the time being, it will be more worthwhile to celebrate his success and forget all about ‘kiss and tell’. Again? Oops!! But, is there any other way to become a little bit wise?

VANGO!

Vango! Welcome back from Chennai, becoming little bit wise again after experiencing the Southern heat!

THE CHICKEN AND THE EGG

An interesting piece of news : scientists have finally found the answer to the classic riddle : they say its the egg that came first. And, not surprisingly, defenders of 'the faith' are quick to retaliate: no, God created all living being himelf and thus its the chicken which came first. But, people, may I request : why not leave this puzzle the way it is? That way, the English language shall never be robbed of an adage and.......it will surely be........to make us a little bit wise!!

MANIA AND HYSTERIA

Population - more than 1 billion

Number of television viewers - more than 30 lakh

Number of Brazil supporters - unlimited

Number of Argentina,Germany etc. supporters - little less than unlimited

Number of Ronaldo lookalikes - many

Number of players in English Premier League - none

Number of players in other world-class leagues - none

Number of team appearances in World Cup finals since 1930 - none

The country ? India, of course!! Isnt that enough to make all maniacs and hysterics a little bit wise?

The War for News

One blog to make the "gossiphound" a lot, and not just, a little bit wise!!

OUI MADEMOISELLE!

La’ une belle fille , la’ une belle fille mignnone – Mademoiselle Tatou aka Neveu. Well, The Da Vinci Code wouldn’t have been what it is, if not for you Mademoiselle. Oui Mademoiselle! This might sound a trifle exaggerated but Monsieur Howard and Monsieur Goldsman could surely have done a better job of adapting Monsieur Brown’s book on the big screen. But, Mademoiselle, you were the saving grace. Again, not to say that Monsieurs Hanks and Mc Kellen weren’t good in their parts. And again, Mademoiselle, you quite carried the two hours and fifteen minutes affair on your petit shoulders. To put things in the proper perspective, Monsieur Goldsman’s script had some vital flaws or missing links. The most significant among them was the part regarding the hidden communication outpost that the DPJ discovers in Teabing’s chateau. In the book, this was a major hint in pointing the finger of suspicion at the British historian. Next, the end of the story itself. In the movie, this part has been significantly altered and subsequently muddled up for the viewer. If M.Goldsman could with the end as provided by M.Brown, then the affair could have been much more cogent. Then, the image of the story’s hero himself – Monsieur Langdon. In essence, the Langdon-Hanks matching was a perfect idea. But, at the end of the day, it has really turned out be a case of lost opportunity. After watching you in modern day classics like Forrest Gump and Road To Perdition, fans of M.Hanks(including yours truly) can surely expect a lot from him. But, they do come out of the movie theatre a trifle disappointed after watching Code. Being a novice in the film-critiquing business, I am at pains to discover what really went wrong. But thankfully, the part of Neveau has not been dealt any blow and thus, one is bound to be smitten by your charm Mademoiselle. Your selection makes apt the title given by your on-screen grandfather (Jacques Sauniere) – Princess. You have played your part with ease and élan – which some say is a continuation of what you did in Amelie. Maybe that is the case, but your charming ‘Frenchness’ (if I may use the term) really makes the book come alive. Maybe the French can surely be trusted, unlike the remarks made by Teabing on landing at Biggin Hill Airport.

Overall, the movie is surely worth a watch, though. The gaps might be yet another example of the age-old problem of on-screen adaptation versus the printed word. But, hopefully this might be resolved in time. Oui Mademoiselle!! This can happen, only if the ones who matter are…..a little bit wise.

PS: Sheyalpandit's heartfelt gratitude to a friend(if she reads this blog) who provided critical inputs - the lovely French phrases for 'beautiful girl' and 'cute girl' via text message,thereby enabling him to express his feelings in the world's most exquisite language!!

THE COKE AND THE CASUALTY

The lives of the bold and the beautiful – very fast, very eventful, very chequered and sometimes, very short. Well, if one looks at the saga of the Mahajans that has been unfolding for the last one month or so, this might just be how it works out. First, the father succumbs to his brother’s bullets. Then, the son snorts on coke with champagne and finds it too close for comfort (that’s what it is, even nothing has been ‘proved’ till now). Is this an evil omen on the family or just the course that the lives of the high and mighty are supposed to take? Or, it might be anything else. But, to ask again and again, how much of sense does this really make? Enough for a day’s headlines and breaking news feeds, at least. Enough to set off a clutch of psychiatrists hawking their trade -offer new cures and analyses to find out. Find out what? Well, to find out just what is it that causes our ‘depressed’ celebrities to snort on pricey powder or take their own lives at times ? And yes, this is much more important than any Tom, Dick or Harry who might think his life is invaluable.

Not to say that Rahul Mahajan does not deserve to live. But, then so do the thousands and lakhs of those whose homes come in the way of large dams or those who inhabit the countless footpaths in our cities. And, lest one forgets, they are subject to substance abuse as well, of a much baser kind. They cannot afford cocaine for fifteen grand. Then what do they resort to? It can be anything from a tube of Dendrite to a can of shoe polish. And most of them are much younger then Rahul Mahajan. So, their tender minds are really put through a lot even before they are able to realize what death looks like or feels like. Still, at the end of the day, their case is not even half as important as the case of the coke and the casualty. So, almost nobody tells their story – be it the pretty newscaster or the high-profile psychoanalyst. And again, mental depression does not spare anybody – those who have everything in life or those who do not. Strange are the ways of the nature! Strange are its ways of trying to make everyone a little bit wise!

NOVEL WAYS TO SPEND FREE TIME

Well, lots of time to spare now, and lots more to kill..........
How to go about it?

Here goes-

Whenever a fly sits on my nose, I pause and ponder,
Whenever a mosquito bites me on the little finger, I think and theorise,
Whenever some other ugly insect crawls up my arm, I stop and stare,
Whenever I see a cat walking down the road(or the wall maybe), I wait and watch,
Whenever there's a Govinda movie on tv, I laze and laugh (louder than a kookaburra),
Whenever I switch on the radio, I swing and sway (to the beats) ,
Whenever I receive a text message joke, I cheer and chuckle,
Whenever I see or hear something serious, I rise and ruminate (well, almost),
Whenever I blog, I blink and bluff - oops!!??!!.........
Whatever and whenever I do, I try to become.......a little bit wise!!!